I realized something about myself tonight..when I get hurt, my defense mechanism goes up. I push the offending person away by getting angry, becoming a total bitch towards the person and try to cause pain to the person. (become hot/cold/hot/cold to that person)

And deep down inside, I am just hurting and am totally not the kind of person that would truly ever try to hurt another person for any reason. (would never try to sabotage anyone’s life).

I’m no longer in defense mode and hope that the person that this sprung up on this time, can forgive me and we can start over as friends?

I’m back to the girl you met and the bitch has completely disappeared…at least I know this about myself now and will honestly try to make sure that it doesn’t happened again.

Yeah..I’m myself again 🙂 Time for a hot soak and a gin fizz and happy hoppy night…(after I look for a job)